This is the fourth and final article on this subject, and the subject has been stretched this far because of how highly important it is to discuss what seems like a rather serious issue in most societies. In the previous articles, I stated that marriage can be the best experience in life if healthy, and the worst, if unhealthy. So far, we have looked into those actions that must be exhibited and those qualities that we must be shown in order to have a joyful and fulfilling marriage. If you haven’t seen the previous articles, I recommend you do so. Being the last article on this subject, I will try as much as possible to be brief and straight to the point.
One way to be faithful is by understanding that marriage is not only getting married to someone who makes your life comfortable, but also the fact that it is a duty (spouse and children are involved). When you get married to somebody who makes you feel comfortable, you will experience peace and less stress. That is indeed very important. The fact that children are involved is a different ball game, and one that gives you more reason to worry and work hard.
You should get married to someone who does not lower your spirit, but rather, who uplifts your spirit. However, you also have to understand that as a spouse with family, it is your duty to take care of your family, no matter what. There are a lot of bad parents in the world. And not all parents are top-notch parents. There are, in fact, extremely few excellent parents in the world. To be a remarkable parent, such person must be a remarkable person. But remarkable people are extremely rare.
Some of our actions are unsuitable, and we are not in the least aware of them. A drunken father may be addicted to alcohol, and may have a hard time dealing with it. But his undutiful life of alcohol imbibing can have such negative impact in the lives of his wife and kids. Some men place greater priority on reveling with friends than on family time; this is not very good. While your friends are important, your family should always be priority. Your spouse and children need your presence and affection to grow more emotionally stable.
Avoid living in license. Drunkards, drug-addicts, gamblers, are parents too. An alcoholic man may be hopeless and helpless with his problem. He may develop financial problems because of the excess purchase of beer; beat his wife because he is bad tempered, and ignore the kids as well as dish them with destructive criticisms, which may eventually make them feel worthless and not good enough. In whatever it is you do, understand the importance of duty and do it well.
Abuse of any sort in a relationship should be avoided. If you are not satisfied with some disturbing habits of your spouse, try to be supportive. And if these disturbing habits are affecting you and your children adversely, you may need to separate and support from a distance, or separate completely, depending on what problem led to it. No spouse who is a victim of domestic violence should continue to live with the abuser. There’s always that option of staying away if things get unbearable.
Emotional stability is when a person knows how to manage his or her emotions even if he or she has been unfairly treated. The ability not to respond negatively or abusively when treated unkindly is what makes you an emotionally stable person. More so, the ability to remain persistent and positive in spite of the setbacks and negative circumstances in your life also goes to show that you have an adequate control of your life and emotions.
Emotionally unstable people can be grumpy, temperamental, moody, and abusive at times. They feel easily diminished and tend to diminish other people. They are overly sensitive to disrespect and have a hard time forgiving those who have offended them. Such people always have problems in their relationships because they have very little tolerance for the imperfections of their mates. Take it to be that the most trying times test and develop your emotional strength.
It is necessary to be emotionally stable. When you are emotionally stable, you don’t let unkind remarks get to you. You also try as much as possible to control your emotion, so as not to disparage other people. You easily forgive other people without having to speak negatively about them. You also do not resort to depression, because you have a set-goal that favorably distracts you, which gives you the strength to deal with issues regarding emotional instabilities.