How to deal with rejections

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Being rejected can make anyone depressed, despondent, and insecure because of the corrosive message such gesture/action passes to the human mind. When you are rejected, you feel inadequate, unaccepted, unwanted, insignificant, worthless, and unloved. These are feelings which give rise to emotional pains, and by extension, a lower quality of life. Rejection can be experienced in several ways. Your ideas, work, job application, friendly gestures, or a marriage proposal may have been rejected, and this may lead to constant worry over your abilities or perceived deficiencies. This constant worry can be toxic to your health and may deter you from concentrating effectively on your goals. While some rejections should be understood and borne (for example, someone saying ‘no’ to a marriage proposal or not being selected for a job you applied for), others can seem cruel and insensitive (for example, being ridiculed by your peers, and being snubbed by your friends). How can one deal with being a victim of rejection in what seems like a world where many people lack quality interpersonal skills? 

Understand and embrace the unpleasant reality of life

Rejections happen every day, and are common experiences for everyone. Although, some rejections may have resulted from having to choose among numerous alternatives (what you believe to be the most suitable option for you), other rejections are personality specific (for example, being diminished by your cruel friends). Whether it’s rejection that results from other people making rational choices, or rejection that occurs from other people’s irrational behaviors, rejections happen in life, and you must come to embrace that reality. 

The earth bristles with a lot of grumpy, frustrated, and vengeful folks, who are dealing with various kinds of problems in their lives. People who are frustrated and unhappy can become intolerant and supercilious. Supercilious people will reject you because they think they are better than you, or because they think that you are insignificant to them. There are also people who are nursing hatred and rancor as a result of the bitter experiences they may have had, or the unpleasant circumstances they may be dealing with. These kinds of people will not be overly nice to you. Some of them will be mean to you, while others will snub you altogether. 

The truth is, there are always going to people who will hate you, diminish you, envy you, scorn you, wish you ill, and contemn you, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You may have to accept that this is the truth about the world you find yourself in. Therefore, you need to understand that you will sometimes be rejected by other people because you do not live in a perfect world. These acceptance and expectation will make it easier for you to cope with those rejections when they happen. 

Learn to pity other people rather than hate them

An act of rejection is a manifestation of poor self-concept. Unless the rejection stems from the economics of choice-making (choosing among several alternatives), people who reject you are not exactly happy. Like smoke that emanates from fire, the act of rejection emanates from emotional insecurity; only people who see the world as a threatening place, and whose self-confidence and self-worth have taken several stabs will be unpleasant to you. The healthiest people are always accepting and loving, always willing to show their support and encouragement, and always welcoming, irrespective of how imperfect you are. 

By understanding that other people’s unfair behavior towards you stems from their unhappy lives can be an eye-opener, and this can consequently help you cope with their insensitive acts of rejection. 

Aspire to achieve meaningful goals

Having goals to achieve, and putting in great effort to accomplish these goals can be a perfect distraction from all the unpleasant experiences you are having in life. Having a goal gives you a sense of focus, and will therefore make you concentrate more on achieving it. Aspiring to achieve a goal will also help give your life a meaning, keep you engaged, and allow you to effectively utilize your God-given resources on productive activities. Prioritizing your goal and having a sense of urgency towards achieving it can make you disregard all the unfair treatments you’ve had to endure from other people. 

Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member

Sharing your feelings with someone who understands you and is willing to sympathize with you can help relief you of stress and anxiety. Therefore, having someone to talk to can do you a lot of good. 

Learn from rejection

While rejections can be corrosive on the mind, they can also be informative. Being rejected does not mean you are inadequate or incompetent. It simply means you can improve and should therefore put in more effort. Rejections should not discourage you; instead, they should inspire you. 

Find a distraction

A great video game, an interesting movie, or a fun time out with friends can be an excellent distraction from your petty worries. Anything that will help you get your mind off the rejections you’ve faced will help you forget your disappointment and despair in time.